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	<title>Darlanne.com &#187; Motherhood</title>
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		<title>My Social Butterflies</title>
		<link>http://darlanne.com/2009/07/16/my-social-butterflies/</link>
		<comments>http://darlanne.com/2009/07/16/my-social-butterflies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:35:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Darlanne</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Motherhood]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://darlanne.com/?p=260</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They really aren&#8217;t kidding when they say Web 2.0. Even compared to just 5 years ago, the internet is a shadow of it&#8217;s former self. The term social networking began with sites like MySpace, and while every networking site out there has it&#8217;s positive purposes, for a parent it can be worrisome. My two daughters [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-302" style="margin-left: 2px; margin-right: 2px;" title="socialbutterflies2" src="http://darlanne.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/socialbutterflies2.jpg" alt="socialbutterflies2" width="150" height="90" />They really aren&#8217;t kidding when they say Web 2.0. Even compared to just 5 years ago, the internet is a shadow of it&#8217;s former self. The term social networking began with sites like MySpace, and while every networking site out there has it&#8217;s positive purposes, for a parent it can be worrisome. My two daughters are taking after their mom in the sense that they love <span id="more-260"></span>being online, though they are far more of the social butterflies than I have ever been. My oldest is 18 now, and has taken up blogging on her own sites, Tweeting and making commentary videos on YouTube. While she doesn&#8217;t love the MySpace/Facebook sites too much, she does actively participate in the similar MyYearbook. Since she started online a few years ago, I&#8217;ve always been the &#8220;in your face and all up in your business&#8221; type of nosey mom, and I believe it has to be that way to ensure their safety. She has come to appreciate this, though, as we now deal with her 10 year old sister wanting to Tweet and make Bratz doll videos on YouTube. Now she understands to a certain degree that uneasiness, herself being fiercely protective of her sibling.</p>
<blockquote><p>Nielsen Online shows that: Social networks and blogs are now the 4th most popular online activity ahead of personal email, Member communities are visited by 67% of the global online population, time spent is growing at 3 times the overall internet rate, accounting for almost 10% of all internet time, PDF, <a title="Link" href="http://server-uk.imrworldwide.com/pdcimages/Global_Faces_and_Networked_Places-A_Nielsen_Report_on_Social_Networkings_New_Global_Footprint.pdf" target="_blank">Nielsen Online</a>, March &#8211; <a title="Link" href="http://www.web-strategist.com/blog/2009/01/11/a-collection-of-soical-network-stats-for-2009/" target="_blank">Web Strategist</a></p></blockquote>
<p>The internet can be a wonderful place to learn a skill, perform a job, broaden technical horizons, but it&#8217;s too easy to let it replace real life. This is very unhealthy for anyone, especially kids who begin to define themselves by whatever identity they&#8217;ve formed online. Moderation is key, and a healthy balance between the cyber world and the real world. There&#8217;s dangers of course in both, but it&#8217;s too easy for a stranger to figuratively step right into your child&#8217;s bedroom and compromise their safety, as a parent becomes lulled into a false sense of security.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve worked online since 1999. Prior to that, I worked outside the home all my adult life. I don&#8217;t regret it, as it allowed me to be here for my girls growing up. However, while I encourage my daughters to know the net, understand what it can offer them, I also want them to understand what it can&#8217;t offer them, and what drawbacks exist. A lot of life can go right by and be missed when one lives online. This isn&#8217;t what I want for them. My oldest is a gifted writer. My youngest is a talented artist. I want them to pursue these skills and make the most of them, but I have to be honest, perhaps even a bit hypocritical when I say, I&#8217;m not at all okay with too much emphasis put on the web as a way of life. With the popularity of sites like YouTube, all but offering an instant &#8220;stage&#8221; for whoever wants to become a star, it&#8217;s my belief we are raising a new generation of narcissistic individuals, with all the emphasis on &#8220;me me me&#8221;. The internet is truly a new beast compared to old school circa 2000, when &#8220;social&#8221; still meant real world activities.</p>
<p>With my oldest, I make my views very known and while she&#8217;s an adult now (*sob*) and can make her own decisions, I always sigh a bit of relief when I overhear her repeating some of the same words of wisdom to her sister, that I&#8217;ve tried to instill in them both. Face it, having kids forever changes how we view the world. Adding in the element of the internet, which is now a way of life itself, isn&#8217;t always very comforting. Talk to your kids. That sounds cliche by now but there is no better way to protect them than old fashioned communication (that doesn&#8217;t involve texting, chatting or tweeting!). Discuss with them, their activities. If they&#8217;re younger, enforce strict rules as to the time they&#8217;re allowed to spend online, where they&#8217;re allowed to visit, and be very watchful of their activities. If you sense something is off, you&#8217;re probably right. Don&#8217;t worry about insulting them or invading their privacy. It is your job first and foremost to protect them.</p>
<p>In ten years from now, who knows what Web 3.0 will be like. For all it&#8217;s exciting possibilities, I guarantee there will still be the downsides and it&#8217;s up to us as parents to meet those challenges and guide our kids along the information super highway (that term itself NOW old school). So no matter what it is, MySpace, Twitter, Facebook, or an old fashioned chat room, knowledge is power, and passing that knowledge on to your kids can only help keep them safe.</p>
<p>Also, if it&#8217;s a pretty day outside, the birds are singing, the sky is blue, encourage them to step outside and away from the computer. We didn&#8217;t have the internet when I was a kid and while there are certainly perks and upsides that my kids have to enjoy in the form of all the new technologies, I almost think I was the luckier one. There was a beauty in the simplicity of what life used to be, long before the internet existed.</p>
<h2>TIPS</h2>
<ul>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.safekids.com/" target="_blank">Safe Kids</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm" target="_blank">FBI Publications &#8211; A Parents Guide to Internet Safety</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.learnthenet.com/english/html/10kids.htm" target="_blank">Learn the Net &#8211; Safety Tips for Parents</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.wiredsafety.org/internet101/blogs.html" target="_blank">Internet Safety Internet 101: Blog Sites, Profile Sites, Diary Sites or Social-Networking Sites</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/tech/tec14.shtm" target="_blank">Social Networking Sites: Safety Tips for Tweens and Teens</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.webmonkey.com/blog/Social_Networking_and_Child_Safety" target="_blank">Social Networking and Child Safety</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.cyberangels.org/" target="_blank">Cyber Angels Internet Safety</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.safetyclicks.com/2009/04/30/social-networking-good-bad-or-indifferent/" target="_blank">Social Networking: Good, Bad, or Indifferent?</a></li>
<li><a title="Link" href="http://www.safefamilies.org/socialnetworking.php" target="_blank">Online Safety on MySpace and Other Social Networking Sites</a></li>
</ul>
<blockquote><p><a title="Link" href="http://news.cnet.com/8301-13846_3-10200669-62.html" target="_blank">Nielsen</a> reports that Social Networks 68% more popular than email 65% (but not by much), Nielsen, Cnet, March 2009 &#8211; <a title="Link" href="http://www.web-strategist.com/blog/2009/01/11/a-collection-of-soical-network-stats-for-2009/" target="_blank">Web Strategist</a></p>
<p><a title="Link" href="http://www.web-strategist.com/blog/2009/01/11/a-collection-of-soical-network-stats-for-2009/" target="_blank">Collection of Social Networking stats for 2009 &#8211; Courtesy of WebStrategist.com</a></p></blockquote>
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		<title>Like Mother Like Daughter</title>
		<link>http://darlanne.com/2009/05/07/like-mother-like-daughter/</link>
		<comments>http://darlanne.com/2009/05/07/like-mother-like-daughter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 07:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Darlanne</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Motherhood]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://darlanne.com/?p=5</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My older daughter, now 18 (cries), was only 8 years old when I started out on the web. She&#8217;s had many interests throughout her growing up years. She&#8217;s a wonderfully talented photographer and an amazing writer. Writing was my dream from that age through much of adulthood, up until I discovered design. I used to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My older daughter, now 18 (cries), was only 8 years old when I started out on the web. She&#8217;s had many interests throughout her growing up years. She&#8217;s a wonderfully talented photographer and an amazing writer. Writing was my dream from that age through much of adulthood, up until I discovered design. I used to write mass amounts of poetry growing up, in very descriptive emotionally charged styles. She too began writing poetry at around the same age, and of course as she got older and hit the teen years, much of it became very dark, even if she herself has always been a very well balanced happy kid. <span id="more-5"></span>She has a flair for the dramatic and not long ago while moving, we found some of my old poetry and I handed one to her. She read it and looked at me with big boulder eyes. &#8220;Mommy, I could have written that!&#8221;. (Yes she still calls me mommy!). Now she&#8217;s embarking on her own online blogging adventure and seeing where that takes her. I suddenly find myself helping her with WordPress themes, plugins, domains, hosting and all the things her mother has been involved with all these years, even if I myself am changing directions in some ways.</p>
<p>As a mother we live and die for our kids everyday as we watch them grow. Age doesn&#8217;t matter. In some ways it&#8217;s scarier when they do become an adult because it feels as if our ability to protect them from the world just got a lot harder. I&#8217;m blessed with two absolutely rare gems. My youngest is 10 and an uber talented artist. Not to mention an absolute HAM and my funny little clown.</p>
<p>I can fail a million times in my life over many things and overcome it &#8230; but the successes of my daughters rises and sets on the very essence of who I am and why I&#8217;m here.</p>
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